Clouds

       At times like this, you try to remember that the sorrow goes when the morning comes and that the tears stop at the break of dawn. But that's a lie, it doesn't. It goes on and on throughout the day. You think it's gone but it lurks around in the shadows waiting for every little thing to crack open the hell once again. The shadow is so strong and at times, you're able to push it back by sheer will and you smile throughout the day. You hold it together and every one thinks it's all peaches and cream. No one knows the turmoil you're going through, no one understands. You doubt they would so you keep it all bottled inside until the dark of the night comes. When you can be yourself and be free. When you can let it out, with restraint of course. Never too much because you can't let it all out at once. Because when you let it all out at once, it's bound to flood you and everyone would know, would see it in your eyes the next day. So you let it out, bit by bit, piece by piece and the night-morning cycle continues. You face your demons at night and when the morning comes you hide them. These are the hardest times. But you have no choice. The demons start piling because bit by bit on your own you just can't face them all. You still try. Until everything comes crashing. Until you can't hide them anymore. Until they take full possession and control. Until you can't push them and hide them in the daytime. Until you become withdrawn or snap at everything. It's one or the other.The cycle continues. It never ends because you refuse to share, because you're too scared to.
          You're still going to be hopeful that the storm would pass away because life can't be this miserable and unkind. Life can't give you just bitter-leaves without melon. You couldn't afford to think that way because the last time you had, you had wanted to kill yourself. No, commit suicide because that sounds way better. For that singular reason, you choose to come out of the clouds and finally let it all out. You find your joy in screaming at the top of your lungs, in dancing to music at the loudest volume. You find it in all the extremes your melancholy music couldn't do for you. You find that bit of happiness and you cling to it like your life depends on it. It does. You don't let go but at times you falter like the umbrella dancing to a dangerous wind. You still cling onto the happiness and don't let it evade you. You finally gain hold and that which torments you is evanescent now. You don't know how, you don't care how. It doesn't matter. Your grip is so strong now you can never let go. You are in control. The clouds have passed. 

What your Pastor Won't Tell You (2)

    In the spirit of Easter, you may or may not want to know that 32% of the world's population are Christians which is approximately 2.2 billion people... Wait, before anyone starts attacking me on my terminology, let me make something clear. When I say "Christian", I mean people that believe in Jesus Christ. This includes ex christians -new-age Nigerian atheists who were formerly christians. You're still gonna fill 'christian' when you apply for that Shell job. It also includes those that swear they can judge every one but themselves while breaking every commandment known to man each day. Basically, it's a very loose term so feel free to hop on board. Now we've got that settled, we should all know the major antagonist in this little story is Satan who goes by the first name Lucifer and family name Devil. That mean old ugly ass creature we were all told about as kids in Sunday school. That's not a  good enough description for him (or her) though. A vital characteristic is usually left out. I'm gonna add "smart" to that description to complete it. Lucifer works day and night trying to snatch people from the Kingdom of God in really creative and extremely effective ways. Christians are expected to go to church for "spiritual nourishment" every Sunday or Saturday for some. The Devil being the hater, and in order to prevent the spirit of the Christian from taking its own Sunday rice, finds ways of stopping us from going...or so is the belief. I call BS on all this. For me, when it comes to church and the devil, there are three categories of people...

       The first are those the devil actually don't want to go to church... These people are those that actually come back from every service as changed and 'better' people. They are those that honestly cry when prayers are going on, sing and dance with all their heart, take notes during the sermon and actually study it when they get home. The devil hates those people... He uses every technique in the book to keep them from entering that building and taking their "spiritual chow" by making them oversleep, giving them certain illnesses, or causing their wives to dress up for hours so they'll go as late as possible, when the meat is finished or more preferably when it's just toothpick remaining...

   
     The second category are those the devil actually wants to go to church. Yes i just said that. Relax let me explain. These people are the 'baby boys' and 'baby gehs'. These people are those my friends and I like to refer to as "gamblers"... They are those guys that go to "toast" choir girls and pastors' daughters. They are those girls that go to seduce the pastor or brothers in the Lord. These people are actually helping the Devil populate his crib by bringing fresh innocent girls and holy guys into the fold. So tell me, why would the devil want such MVPs stay at home when they are moving his ministry? I'm sure he might even volunteer to wake them up, get their bath ready and brush their teeth any week they feel lazy.

       The last category are those the devil really doesn't give two fucks about. You disagree? Hold on a minute... Do u know anyone that goes to church, doesn't join any unit, doesn't talk to anyone, doesn't really dance or sing or do anything really? They hear the word but you can see clearly that their minds aren't there, probably thinking of the boobs and ass of the girl last Friday night... Or how to murder their boyfriends for not calling them the previous day? Now these people are not helping the devil capture the souls he wants, and are also refusing the Jollof and Chicken. Now tell me why the devil would care since they are not moving or hindering his ministry.?

Which group do you belong to?   None? I just might have to find a special category for you then because you must belong somewhere.