Saturday, 7 March 2015

What Your Pastor Won't Tell You

          Your pastor won't tell you this, mine didn't either. 
     With that being said, contrary to everything you've heard, almost every Nigerian will go to heaven. I dare say that the majority of people in heaven will be Nigerians. Let me give you a background story. Nigeria is a country riddled with violence, insecurity and gra-gra. For anyone to survive in Nigeria, you have to effuse a whole lot of gra-gra. Somebody mistakenly steps on your shoes in public, you have to shout and possibly retaliate. You have to be constantly prepared to exchange words or even fight with the most random stranger. This spirit of gra-gra life is passed down from generation to generation. It's in us and it is even taught in primary schools. Remember those nursery school songs like 'Nzogbu nzogbu Enyimba' that involved a lot of feet-stamping and air-punching? There are many others.nI still don't know what 'nzogbu-nzogbu' means but by the ferocity with which the song had to be sung, you are taught early that Nigeria is not a country for songs and rhymes about lilies and roses. It is a gra-gra nation. 
        Where am I headed with this? Just keep going. Now, if you check your dictionary you'll see that gra-gra is the antonym of the word meek. (You can't find it? I didn't tell you to not use an updated 
dictionary). But at least, you've learnt it. A little more research still and it involves the Holy book. It says in Matt. 5:5 that the meek shall inherit the earth. Now, I didn't write that but with a little knowledge of antonyms from primary school and simple grammar, we can simply substitute saying "the gra-gra shall inherit heaven". If that doesn't convince you and you need further proof, look at verse 3 . It says, 'the poor in spirit will inherit heaven.' Not poor physically, but poor in spirit. No country could have people with poorer spirits than this dear nation, Nigeria. It's even a given what with erratic power supply and bad governance and you complete the rest. It's in the holy book y'all that most of us (fellow Nigerians) will make heaven. 
             And yes, once more. Your pastor won't tell you this but I did. 


At 17 March 2015 at 10:32 , Blogger Henry Okpulor said...

Very hilarious but made a point. Great one!!!!

At 17 March 2015 at 10:33 , Blogger Henry Okpulor said...

Very hilarious but made a point. Great one!!!!

At 19 March 2015 at 22:31 , Blogger Treasure Akelachi said...

Thanks...glad you found it 'hilarious' ;)

At 21 March 2015 at 10:32 , Blogger Hubert Ovie Madise said...

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