Secret Confessions

 Secret Confessions 

            I'm an ardent lover of Paul. Yes, I unabashedly and unashamedly say it. Call me whatever name you want, I'm not going to deny him. However, I'm not sure he loves me as well as I do cause he already has another whom he proclaims his love to always. Essentially, I'm his side chick.  It's all right though because his first love is Jesus. Who am I really to compete with Jesus' long golden locks and beard? He's a bearded God, literally.

            Anyway, the lover Paul once told me to address him with his appropriate title and so I will only refer to him rightly as Apostle Paul in case he reads this. He gets pissed at things like that, much like professors when you refer to them as 'Dr.' Ordinary doctor, you mean? Such impudence! Bear with me, but I really need a 6-bedroom mansion in the sky seeing as I don't have one on earth right now. 

            I might not be top on Apostle Paul's list of babes but I don't mind. He's a smooth player if I'm being honest and I've fallen too hard. This is an excerpt of a letter he once wrote to me. 

       "You are always in my heart! And so it is right for me to feel this way about you...".  I blushed as I read this declaration of love. I'm not going to continue with what the letter said because it's highly personal. I always knew my very own Apostle Paul was a little shy because he hid this message in the Good News Bible Supermarket on the corner of Philippians, Road 1 verse 7. I replied LOL just in case you were curious. I'm not very good at voicing my feelings, you see. He must have been a little upset with my reply and so I have decided to be effusive. I need him to know how much I appreciate him.. It's been a long time since we talked and it's my fault. It's also kind of hard because he's left me to go to the other side. However, just in case he ever decides to look at the paper on the doorstep to his mansion in the sky, he'll see this.

           I love the fact that you always tell me that I don't have to conform to anyone's opinion. You encouraged me to think for myself (Rom 12:2a). I was only 13 when I first got this message from you. I'm in the university now and I finally understand why you always emphasized that. I'm my own woman, partly because you encouraged me that I could. I never told you thanks for this. I also never told you thanks for elevating my reasoning level and helping me put away most of the tantrums of childhood behind. You made me modify my thinking and aim very high because I wasn't just a little baby girl anymore who can't swallow garri. I can now aim for fufu and pounded yam. Now, I don't even speak, think or reason like a child anymore. (1COR 13:11). I'm not up to your level yet but there's hope.

         Apostle Paul dear, remember I told you that sometimes I want to do the right things but somehow, I end up doing the wrong things? You told me that you felt the same way too. To be very honest, I was surprised but I felt glad to not be alone. You fought the same battles as I do now - the war within (Rom 7:18). You made me feel even better by telling me that 'I'm not even a prisoner of "the law" because grace abounds.'  I quoted you directly because I just couldn't paraphrase. I also don't really understand the word grace even after attending Sunday School but it sounds reassuring. Could you please explain a little better? By the way, talking about "the law', I know you got your law degree and are very learned. Do I have to add Barrister to your title now? 

         I'm on my bed now struggling to read some school work but it's really difficult because I just got a new episode of my favorite series to watch. I also have a class by 7am, and I always battle with my flesh because it just does't want to leave the bed. I'm really conflicted.  Like you said, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. How did you overcome your flesh eventually? I hope you don't get angry because I seem to ask a lot of questions.       

        My Embryology textbook is calling my name and I have to answer. I really hope you write to me again mostly on the subject of love. Are you really serious about all you said in your last letter I saw when I was in number 1 of Rue de la Corinthians 13? I really hope so because when I got to 1 Rue de la Corinthians 8, I had no choice but to agree that love is eternal, it never fails. I'm still cynical about the whole love thing but it's a beautiful concept. Please reply. 

PS: I think you're a great writer Barrister Apostle Paul. 

PPS: I think you'd have made a great doctor as well.

Treasure .A. @TREZHI